ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
