Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
