I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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