I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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