Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
