i permit you to call me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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