bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
