dude i'm inner monologue high
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
