Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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