Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
