Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
