Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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