I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
