I think my vagina is haunted
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
