is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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