So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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