oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
