I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
