he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
