I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize