Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize