pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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