I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize