he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
