you win again, gameday.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
