my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
