Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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