Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
