Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
