So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
