working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
