I hate your face
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
