Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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