My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
