Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I love you. Go after that dick
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
