I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
