He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize