I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
