Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
