I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's the barista slut.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
