Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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