i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
