the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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