it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
