Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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