Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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