Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
