Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
