He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize