I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
