The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
