Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
