it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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