I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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