I want to stick my p in your. b.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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