my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
